April 2021
@Rob
REceiving feedback
Delivering feedback is hard (here’s how you might make it easier).
Receiving it might be even more difficult. It just so happens we’ve got some ideas to help you with that!
No matter the strategy/ies you choose to wring the most out of feedback, it is important to find something that works for you, because feedback matters. Feedback:
is vital for growth and development;
facilitates task completion and goal achievement;
promotes engagement and job satisfaction; and
is linked to advancement and compensation.
Another reason to focus on your response to feedback is that it’s unavoidable: feedback is everywhere in the workplace (and our non-work lives). It doesn’t always appear in the form we’d like it to at work -- and may not be helpful when delivered -- but it rears its head regularly. Whether formal or informal, conveyed through silence or direct conversation, implied by edits to a document you’re working on or reduced to a performance evaluation . . . information about performance rushes your way daily.
“It all starts — as so many mindset matters do — with awareness: in this case, awareness of how the feedback instinctively triggers you and undermines learning. The goal is to separate your narrative about the feedback from the content of the feedback.”
We’ll focus here on two ways to better receive feedback:
enhancing its regularity and quality; and
adopting a mindset that will make it easier to grow from.
How to Catch Feedback
The below strategies increase the timeliness and quality of the feedback you receive.
Coach your supervisor on how you best receive feedback
“Your willingness to talk last week right as I finished the draft industry report really helped me clarify my thoughts and understand what our team needed; and the New York office was really pleased with the outcome. What would be the most convenient way for me to check in with you in a similar way on future projects?”
Mine for specificity/models
“Based on your comments to my draft, it looks like the report would benefit from re-organization. If there are prior reports in our knowledge management system that illustrate how you think about organization, I’d be eager to pull them.”
Ask about their experience/development
“I think I can learn from the way you run team meetings -- everyone feels like a part of the group and we get to action planning every time. What were some of the resources you looked at in developing your approach to running a meeting?”
Be ready with a self-critique
“I’m attaching here my draft industry report. I worked at the organization quite a bit, but I’m concerned the reader will still lack context. I’d be curious to hear what changes you might suggest to address that specific issue?”
Along the way, remember: share learning goals early and ask for help; and whenever possible work backwards from edits/final work-product.
Mindset Matters
While we ideally want more regular and higher quality feedback, it’s natural that receiving feedback can spark anxiety and strong emotions. It may for some trigger a need for acceptance and respect. While normal in many senses, such emotional responses can be barriers to internalizing the feedback and learning.
With a big nod to the terrific treatment of the subject by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen in Thanks for the Feedback, here are ways to work through these (very human!) reactions to get to the truth of the feedback and how it can help you perform better.
It all starts -- as so many mindset matters do -- with awareness: in this case, awareness of how the feedback instinctively triggers you and undermines learning. The goal is to separate your narrative about the feedback from the content of the feedback.
1. Truth Trigger. We look for something false in the feedback so we can dismiss it entirely. Convinced the substance of the feedback is off base, indignance and a sense of being wronged sets in.
Example of internal conversation:
“That can’t be right! And if the instructions were clearer on the project, it would have gone differently.”
2. Relationship Trigger. If we think the feedback is coming from the wrong person, we might shut down and not learn from it. You may not trust their expertise or perhaps have had negative interactions with them in the past. Whatever the reason, the interpersonal narrative overwhelms the learning.
Example of internal conversation:
“This is ridiculous: I submitted the draft three days early to help fit with your schedule. And I’m not sure you could have covered the subjects in your draft based on your experience at the company. This is what I get for doing you a favor!”
3. Identity Trigger. Feedback may touch on our self-perception, seeming to unseat our sense of who we are, what we excel at . . . why we matter in the workplace. Learning from feedback goes by the wayside when this sense of self is challenged.
Example of internal conversation:
“I’m not being strategic about how the client will receive this information?! I’m the one that the executive team turns to on these issues all the time. I regularly look at things from the client’s perspective. You’re not seeing this the right way.”
To learn from the feedback -- to go beyond the triggers -- requires a commitment not only to self-awareness but also reflection and space.
Here are the steps to take:
Write down the feedback as it was presented.
Note what the feedback triggers in you. Refer to the above triggers as a guide.
Acknowledging the trigger and putting it to the side momentarily, focus on what the learning value of the feedback might be -- what could be helpful about it?
Act on the feedback to improve performance.
To help operationalize, download our Feedback Tracker tool (sample below).
It’s magical thinking to pretend we’re all going to love getting feedback, or even radically change our perception of it. With some steps and tools to be more aware of the challenges to accepting feedback, however, you can learn to grow from it.
Template for Feedback Tracker